tell me why i'm waiting for someone who doesn't give

You treat yourself to some new wardrobe, but you’re no different in diamonds. You drink the iced tea but you’re not refreshed. You smell the crisp welcome of fall but you don’t feel welcome at all. You see the beauty but you don’t feel it. When you feel like you’re waiting for something that will never happen, your life seems more like a long, cold winter even when the seasons change and the trees’ leaves color the sky.

You sift through your workday like a soulless drone and you struggle for the energy to cook yourself a nice meal at the end of the day. You aimlessly scroll down the screen of your phone without paying attention and you force yourself to fall asleep to pass the time. You comfort yourself every morning as you wake up to a new morning, maybe the one in which the miracle will happen. You fight yourself every night as you tell yourself to get a grip and move on. When you feel like you’re waiting for something that will never happen, your mind holds out more hope each day while your heart breaks more with the very thought of reality. You try to fulfill your life with as much excitement as you can, because you can’t stand to allow your mind to wander where it usually does - to that thing you’re waiting for to happen, the one that never will. You try to take up new hobbies and get creative. You try to distract yourself with work, friends, and mediocre Tinder dates.

When you feel like you’re waiting for something that will never happen, it’s like the universe is keeping you from moving from that very spot. The credits roll and the music keeps playing but for you, the movie isn’t over. The sun rises as the moon hides, yet you’re still in the same, dull place as yesterday. The batteries in your clock have died and the screen on your iPhone has frozen. You sleep, you eat, you have your routine.

Tell me why i'm waiting for someone who doesn't give